It’s Wednesday So You Know What That Means
[This is old but I’m tired of writing new stuff and anyway it’s Star Wars-y.]
- - -
“Princess Leia! You will tell me the location of your hidden rebel base! I bet it’s in your panties!”
“Please don’t use that word.”
“That’s it! Bring in … the probe droid.”
“Hang on a sec.”
“What’s a matter, princess? Scared of the feelings my probe droid gives you? Titillated by the prospect of being probed real good?”
“Are you trying to do the torture scene with that floating ball with the hypodermic needle?”
“Yeah, duh.”
“Oh my god. OK. Josh, that’s the IT-O interrogation droid. You’re thinking of the reconnaissance probe droid that was sent down to Hoth. Those were produced by Arakyd Industries. IT-O was designed by the Imperial Security Bureau.”
“OK. Well then I’m about to interrogate your Sarlacc pit!”
“So you’re saying my vagina is a cavernous, toothy monster that slowly digests men for a thousand years.”
“I … yeah. I mean, right? That’s hot.”
“How would you like it if I said your penis was not unlike a dianoga?”
“Oh yeah baby. What’s that?”
“The gross slimy horrible little creature that lives in one of the [first] Death Star’s garbage compactors, feeding on trash like … what was her name? Sapphire? Your girlfriend in college?”
“Savannah.”
“Unchain me from this fucking Jabba doll.”
