“I got an idea for a video game.”
“Can’t wait to hear it. I love all your ideas. I love everything about you.”
“You don’t have to be a jerk right off the bat.”
“I don’t have to eat this frosting straight out the can either, but I do it because it brings me joy.”
“I have spoons here, you know. Ladles. All kinds of silverware.”
“Using my pinky is classier.”
“So you play this elite ninja robot who’s captured by a demon emperor and he erases your memory and leaves you in a space castle somewhere and you wake up with no idea who you are and it’s sort of a sandbox type deal, right, so you have to build a new life for yourself and make friends and find a job and get married and everything, and you can download different hobby add-on packs like planting an herb garden or setting up a model train set in the spare room, and you can go on vacation from time to time, you can unlock an affair at work with a cheat code, you can do grocery shopping and dinner party mini-games, the works.”
“Let me guess, there are no extra lives.”
“That’s right.”
“You think you’re an elite ninja robot with an erased memory, don’t you.”
“I—”
“Don’t you.”
“It’s the only thing that makes any goddamn sense.”
