Bill Berry jumps off his tractor, shields his unibrow from the blinding Georgia sun, gazes upon today’s bales of hay, not only deadlier but smarter too.
Josh: i need to write some talking points about a webinar Angela: talking point one: this is boring Angela: talking point two: don’t everyone suicide at once, let’s take turns Angela: talking point three: ah shit i suicided
Things I Said Out Loud To Myself Tonight #2
String cheese for dinner. That’s a dinner. And there’s a trivia question on each package! What fruit has more vitamin C than an orange? Let’s see. I don’t know. A banana. I’m not going to think about it. Just tell me the answer. A tomato? Oh fuck you. I don’t care if a tomato is really a fruit, nobody thinks of it as a fruit so that was a trick question. ...
Things I Said Out Loud To Myself Tonight
I wonder if I’ll die if I eat this whole bag of beef jerky. This? [gesturing to the empty room] This is not tenable. I thought that was Yoda but that ain’t no fuckin Yoda.