String cheese for dinner. That’s a dinner. And there’s a trivia question on each package!
What fruit has more vitamin C than an orange? Let’s see. I don’t know. A banana. I’m not going to think about it. Just tell me the answer.
A tomato? Oh fuck you. I don’t care if a tomato is really a fruit, nobody thinks of it as a fruit so that was a trick question.
[I eat the string cheese in silence, then:]
Why is it a fruit? What defines a fruit? Grows on a tree. No, grapes grow on a vine. Tomatoes grow on a vine. Um. Pumpkins grow on a vine. Squash. Fruit has seeds. Tomatoes have seeds. Cucumbers have seeds. Uh.