January 2011
7 posts
1 tag
Altered Images / Happy Birthday
Let's Take A Voyage Into Josh's Brain If You Even...
— What are you gonna get for lunch?
— A salad, I guess.
— A salad.
— Before you even—
— Do you sometimes miss your balls? Just like in the middle of doing something else you suddenly stop and think about them but you can hardly even remember what they looked like and you’re horrified by that realization because how could you forget what was once the most important thing in your life?
—...
I bought a box of 48 condoms at Costco. The checkout girl scanned it and glanced up at me. She evidently had some sort of nervous tic where sexual arousal caused her to snort mockingly. “These expire in 2014, you know,” she informed me. I said: “Oh I’ll be back here next week for a refill if I know me and sexing, which I do.” She asked if I used them to make balloon...
The Regional Dialect Meme
Say these words:
...
“I got an idea for a video game.”
“Can’t wait to hear it. I love all your ideas. I love everything about you.”
“You don’t have to be a jerk right off the bat.”
“I don’t have to eat this frosting straight out the can either, but I do it because it brings me joy.”
“I have spoons here, you know. Ladles. All kinds of silverware.”
...
