August 2008
9 posts
Gary: Fats, man. Let me tell you my story, man. Last year, I was insane for this crazy little eighth grade bitch. OK? Fats: Crazy insane? Fred: Insane? Vince: Crazy? Gary: I was nuts for the woman, man. Now you gotta believe me. I’m ser—I’m tellin the truth, here, I’m speakin to you. I mean I was nuts for the girl. And what did it to me was these big titties she had. Fred: Big...
Finally
http://twitter.com/galifianakis
I had a dream I was going out with Meg White. It was rad. But my dream director made her speak only in Spanish, I guess because he’s never heard her actually speak in real life? And had to think on his feet? Always with the quick solution, my dream director. (But maybe it’s time he graduated from family-friendly fare to something with a hard R?)
I think comics might be taken more seriously if they stopped using all caps in the lettering? I mean it’s 2006 here, people. Or whatever year it is. I’m not into the details, I’m into big thinking.
Peon #1: Oh my god, who wrote “Happy birthday!” in the “Loss of your father” sympathy card?
Peon #2: Clearly it was Lance. Who else is that stupid?
Lance: What did I do? Oh, it’s fine, let’s just use Wite-Out, he won’t know the difference.
Peon #2: Didn’t you read the card? Or look at it? It’s blue, how’s “white” out...
How I Know I'm Not a Writer
I haven’t read Hemingway or Faulkner or Melville or Chekhov or Dostoevsky or Austen or Dickens but last night I made it a priority to finally see Point Break because it was urgent that I fill this embarrassing gap in my knowledge of the world. And it was, indeed, 100% pure adrenaline. Next up: Road House.
40. Dear Don Draper, My kids have had a lemonade...
whatwoulddondraperdo:
They’ll do much better after they get tired of sitting there and lose themselves in play and start to circle their bikes and drag their toys through the grass and mark the sidewalks with colored chalk. When that lemonade stand sits in the middle of lazy games of tag, carefree laughter and flashes of stained gingham and sun-bleached hair, no passing neighbor will be able to...
