Rejected Twitter Post No. TMI
Having sex with me is sort of like moshing at a Fugazi show. I’m all: “Can you please not do that? Do I have to call Security?”
LIKE THIS ONE CHICK IS ALL TELLING ME THAT SOMEDAY WHEN I GET A FUTON SHES...– Taste Test: Death Rain Habanero Chips
Great Green Gobs of Greasy, Grimy Gopher Guts -... →
meghanagain: So, this was in my head on and off all weekend. My local variant included “Aunt Jemima’s dirty feet.” Maybe we were racist?
Twitter Post Rejected Due To Pompous Obscurity
My Saturday nights have quickly gone from Here Come the Warm Jets to Discreet Music.
I Really Should Get a Job
I was told that there are only two ways to punch a pony to death, but I think I just discovered a third. Thanks, crystal meth!
Two Camp-Themed Twitter Posts, Rejected Due to...
My kid’s postcard says there’s a lot of “rapping in the showers” at camp. Either times have changed or his spelling is as bad as ever. My kid’s got ADD so we’re thinking about sending her to one of those concentration camps?