Shingles Ma I Got Shingles
DJing tonight at the Applebee’s on West Colfax, laying down a sleazy set of Mark Almond and Aphex remixes and American Idol highlights from YouTube. The prom girls go absolute A-1 ape-balls and offer me unseemly Activites which I — as a Gentleman — refuse, sealing the Velcro on my cargo shorts. Sure enough I’m alone at the end of the evening, only my Triple Chocolate...
Rejected Twitter Post No. 5555555
You ever take a dump and peek and see there’s a massage therapist’s engagement ring in there? And you’re all: Um, now what LOL??
M83 - Skin of the Night No idea if the rest of the...
One of the few things I still take pleasure in are the Weird Science-related searches in my referer logs, esp.: “Every damn night? On the telephone?”
Rejected Twitter Post No. 8
Saigon, ‘74. I pick up a still-smoldering cigarette and take a quick drag. I am sixteen months old, living in Denver.