Schmidt:It’s the last helicopter outta Saigon, my man. Charlie won.
Schmidt:You won’t even know it’s me, Nick. Look, at this point it’s all skin and shapes.
Nick:That’s what I’m afraid of!
Schmidt:It’s the fog of war, man. There’s so much stuff going on. You’re just, you’re just, you’re just here, you don’t even know what’s happening.
Nick:But I wanna know what’s happening if it’s with sex! I don’t want some fog of war on top of me if it looks like you!
Schmidt:That’s the point, the fog of war is something you can’t see through.
Nick:Like the whole thing with the Charlie thing in Vietnam, I dunno who I’m fighting!
Schmidt:I’m soft like a lady! You won’t even know!
Nick:Yeah but what if I get a surprise.
Nick:What if there’s a surprise on me?
Schmidt:There’s not gonna be a surprise on you.
Nick:What if I’m fighting in the war and boom there’s a surprise?
Schmidt:You go north, I go south. Do you know what I’m saying? I’m in steerage. And I’m rowing and I’m rowing and I’m rowing. You’re up in the crow’s nest -- fresh air up there, man! I’m in the trenches, you know, I’m digging for coal, I’m breathing in those fumes, and you’re up here, you’re just taking in the sights, you’re spotting dolphins, you’re just the handsome prince covered in salty sea spray.
Nick:I don't want you calling me handsome before a potential four way!
Hello. Will Knowledge for Thirst, or at least the reviews within, ever go online again, or at least be available in a way, or format, in wich a person (such as me), could get a hold of them. And read. Them. Thank you and good bye.
All my sites got moved to a new server last year and that bungled things up real nice — K4T in particular since it was on Wordpress, a thing I should not be allowed to use. I have a backup of the database but my attempts to get it up and running again have so far ended in hot hissy tears.
But anyway the reviews weren’t lost forever, which is what I was afraid of (some of my all-time fave kfan writing is there), so yes it’ll be available again at some undefined point in the future.
Sometime in the 90s my Hollywood friend (I think he writes for Burn Notice now?) went to Sundance and brought back a VHS tape of a movie called Tomorrow Night that he said nobody liked but I probably would.
I went to UCLA to be a filmmaker (but didn’t get into the film program hence the English degree that ruined my life) so I saw a lot of student-y, Sundance-y films back then and they were all horrific so I was pleasantly surprised to actually find this VHS tape super funny. I watched it once and then my friend took it back, saying he wasn’t even allowed to have it.
Anyway I decided to pay attention to this guy Louis CK who made it. And today he finally made the movie available on his site for five bucks. I just downloaded it and am scared to watch it because what if it stinks? We’ve all changed a lot since then. All I remember is someone sitting on a bowl of ice cream and someone adopting a black kid named “Clean” and I might even be wrong about that.
Josh, are you just trying to tell us you were in on the ground floor of this whole Louis CK thing? yes goddammit gimme some candy
Hulk saw a phrase pop up again and again in the national dialogue calling Fast Six ‘not a good movie, but an enjoyable one.’ And Hulk couldn’t disagree more.
We have somehow become a culture that only equates good with overt seriousness. Which is a shame because Hulk would argue the last two Fast movies, while incredibly dumb on so many levels, are still two of the most functional summer popcorn movies that Hulk has seen in, like, years.
You may laugh at that word ‘functional,’ but to Hulk it’s one of the best words in all of moviedom. It means the film works, dammit. It means it is engineered properly and does exactly what it sets out to do.
They dramatize all the stakes and spell out exactly what’s happening without a hint of obfuscation. They make overtly sexual movies that at least have the dignity to give their female characters agency and independence outside of scotch-taping them to the men’s stories. They are movies that know how to execute all the basics flawlessly and Hulk would argue that’s the reason they’ve become ridiculously popular and beloved. It’s because they are coherent, clear, classically told stories.
It’s because they actually are good movies.
”—Film Crit Hulk takes a break from dismantling Man of Steel to put my feels into words
My pal Ken Flagg is writing a new song every week for 52 weeks. Desperate, he asked if I’d write something and record myself reading it so he could skip coming up with lyrics for a week. Some of the stories I posted here recently were aborted attempts at that, but we decided the one about Henry, Texas could work.
Give it a listen and check out his other tunes while you’re there. They’re not all super creepy!