- Nick: I’m not doing a four way with you.
- Schmidt: It’s the last helicopter outta Saigon, my man. Charlie won.
- Nick: No, Schmidt.
- Schmidt: You won’t even know it’s me, Nick. Look, at this point it’s all skin and shapes.
- Nick: That’s what I’m afraid of!
- Schmidt: It’s the fog of war, man. There’s so much stuff going on. You’re just, you’re just, you’re just here, you don’t even know what’s happening.
- Nick: But I wanna know what’s happening if it’s with sex! I don’t want some fog of war on top of me if it looks like you!
- Schmidt: That’s the point, the fog of war is something you can’t see through.
- Nick: Like the whole thing with the Charlie thing in Vietnam, I dunno who I’m fighting!
- Schmidt: I’m soft like a lady! You won’t even know!
- Nick: Yeah but what if I get a surprise.
- Schmidt: A surprise?
- Nick: What if there’s a surprise on me?
- Schmidt: There’s not gonna be a surprise on you.
- Nick: What if I’m fighting in the war and boom there’s a surprise?
- Schmidt: You go north, I go south. Do you know what I’m saying? I’m in steerage. And I’m rowing and I’m rowing and I’m rowing. You’re up in the crow’s nest -- fresh air up there, man! I’m in the trenches, you know, I’m digging for coal, I’m breathing in those fumes, and you’re up here, you’re just taking in the sights, you’re spotting dolphins, you’re just the handsome prince covered in salty sea spray.
- Nick: I don't want you calling me handsome before a potential four way!
"A Palomino?!? They’re beautiful!”
Listening to The Incomparable stream the recording of their SNL draft makes me nostalgic.
I can’t begin to do the math on what my favorite sketch is, but I am historically partial to the completely bananas bits that somehow made it in.
This one still just kills me, and still gets quoted in our household at least a couple times a month.
For some weird team building exercise years ago, we all had to talk about our favorite SNL sketch and I was like: “Oh! The one where Will Ferrell is a doctor? And Dr. Poop? And Beverly? And vondruke?” And I got nothing but blank stares and somehow failed the team building exercise?
These valiant girls, Kat Burns and Aubrey Leigh, risked life and limb dancing for my show while wearing these masks tonight. They are very precious to me.
Photo: Jerry Minor
This week I got a sweet job, then I saw the above show, then afterward I cut off Alison Brie as we tried to get out of the garage. Pretty good!
welcome to your life / there’s no turning back
People about to get their minds blown by Purple Rain.
—Somebody to Love
Queen / Somebody to Love
The Young Ones has to be one of the top five things that got into my head early and made me this way. Just yesterday Angela complimented me on my Stewie impression but I was actually trying to do Rick. (“World’s Stupidest Bottom Burp: Vyvyan, Britain.”)
Whenever I get weepy about Community (i.e., every year about this time) this is the corny fan video I watch.